A Sex-trology Exclusive: Chemistry's "My Naughty Valentine" Event

It's been nearly five months since I've last posted any of my doings or reviews, and now seems an appropriate time to break the silence. Admittedly my desire to put eros into words has been at ebb tide, but now, with my new eBook of erotic verse, The Poetry Prostitute, up on Paper Bag Press, I am rediscovering the pleasure of doing just that.

Giving short and not-so-sweet astrology readings for guests at the "My Naughty Valentine" Chemistry event this past weekend was a great reminder of a particular kind of pleasure dome: one that has little to do with lights-out privacy and conventionality, and everything to do with swirling, sizzling eroticism tempered with humor and punctuated with downright surrealism. Yet the play area, which tends to lose its boundaries and spill throughout the urban loft space as the very long night progresses, is not the ultimate destination for all those who are screened and invited to attend this party. Many guests simply enjoy good conversation with new and old friends, delectable edibles by a gourmet chef, exciting entertainment, cozy couches, and jammin' dance floor with tireless DJs.

My evening began when I finally decided upon an outfit to wear: a high-necked Chinese magenta mini dress with an outer layer of black lace, picked up many moons ago at Pearl River Mart but never worn for reasons unknown. Combined with fishnet stockings and black suede boots, I managed to pull off a look that was both demure and racy. I was given a relatively quiet corner for my astrology readings, near the masseur-and-masseuse team called the Transformational Warriors who had set up two massage tables to relax Chemistry guests, as well as the hired sketch artist (there was no photographer at this event). I had a comfortable chair, and across from me was a bench with cushions that proved perfect for the many couples who came to me for love 'n' sex astrology readings. (If you're interested in having a reading, contact me via http://pluto-rising-astrology.blogspot.com.)   

The evening started off with a sensual tango (a redundancy, I realize) performed by Anton and Rita of New York City's Sexy Spirits. (Check out http://sexyspirits.com to learn more about this sex-u-cation center.) I appreciated this performance as I sipped my glass of gratis wine from the BYOB bar, and then headed back to my astrology corner. Although I mostly gave couple-oriented joint readings, I also did a few individual readings for those whose partners were exploring other facets of the very multifaceted Chemistry. Most memorable was the young man with intriguing bits of sparkly thingies on his face; upon hearing from me that he was attracted to and did well in extreme environments (and no, this was not because he was at a Chemistry party!), he informed me of his desire to move to Antarctica. Well, you can't get much more extreme than that! I do hope that if he winds up there, he'll get invited to some wild penguin parties.

Not surprisingly, I found a preponderance of Mars, Venus, and Ascendants (aka Rising Sign) in the sexpot sign of Scorpio, but there was also a high frequency of Aquarius placements; fittingly, this sign is known for being unconventional and enjoying group activities! What was truly lovely about giving these readings was viewing the downright old-fashioned affection displayed by so many couples. One couple had just gotten married the week before; another had been together for a decade and a half. All who came to me for a joint reading, however, were serious items. All held hands while sitting on the bench listening to me rattle on about their Mars, Venus, etc., and all looked very happy to be with each other.

I was happy to take a break during the burlesque performances; there were three performers this time, GiGi LaFemme, Pandora, and Li'l Miss Lixx. I particularly enjoyed the rendition of Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love," because I am such a classic rock lover. (So, apparently, was the very mellow beagle that wandered around the main room, apparently a resident of the loft space, digging the scene.) And I was even more thrilled with the evening's dessert: chocolate fondue with whole strawberries and cut-up bananas. However, I became aware that if I didn't stop myself, I was going to devour all the fruit. There was probably more fruit in the kitchen that would be brought out, but I started just dunking a plastic fork in the chocolate sauce. The truth is, Valrhona chocolate needs no accompaniment.

I did share a strawberry with a friend of mine who was working at the kissing booth (as every good Valentine-themed party should have) with his lady love. When he saw the strawberry poking out of my mouth, he thought it was my tongue, as did Sheila Monster (who, along with her partner Kenny Blunt, founded Chemistry at a much needed time: midway through Bush II's second term). I must be more convincing with props than I give myself credit for. Either that or the lights were dimmer than usual.

Things started getting distracting when I returned to my astrology corner. A few feet away, a woman was receiving a light spanking as I gave a reading for the starry-eyed newlywed couple.

An attractive red-haired young woman, who was wearing a fetching shiny black and crimson ensemble, seemed a bit downcast when she sat down on the bench across from me. It turns out she was feeling withdrawn because the play area was getting rather packed, and she did not feel comfortable entering the fray with her partner. I sympathized with her; it can indeed be difficult to find an appropriate opening (no pun intended) during the peak of a popular party. Her foxy partner, who reminded me a bit of Nicholas Cage in his leaner and hungrier years, eventually wandered over and sat down on the bench next to her in his bright red vinyl trousers, which I later learned were size 7 ladies' pants from Trash & Vaudeville. (Note to self: revisit this store.) Withdrawn Redhead was a Leo; Mr. Hot Pants was an Aries, but with a heavy dose of Scorpio. I attempted to work some astrologie magick to brighten the spirits of this fiery couple. I was rewarded: after I closed up shop to enjoy myself for the last hour or so of the party, I witnessed a most divine fellatio session between this very same couple, on some cushions beneath a loft bed in the main space. (In case you are wondering, yes, the loft bed itself was used for a marathon doggy-style fuck earlier in the evening.) This tableau fed my inner voyeur just as well as the warm chocolate fondue had fed my belly. I watched discreetly as I spoke with a charming married couple sitting on adjacent cushions beneath this loft bed. After Mr. Hot Pants climaxed, he told me that my reading had helped turn the evening around for them. How very nice that was to hear! I had hoped that my reading would make them realize that they already had all they needed to steam up the loft windows: each other. Mr. Hot Pants then returned oral pleasures to No Longer So Withdrawn Redhead.

When the two couples on the cushions introduced themselves, I decided it was time for me to depart. It was getting pretty late, and I wanted to go home and collapse in my own bed. Yet the magnetism of Chemistry would not let me go that easily. I was nowhere near the play area, and yet all around me were more couples fucking each other's brains out. I decided to stay for one more glass of wine.

My final image of the evening, which I promise you, dear reader, I am not inventing despite being a writer of fiction: the beagle, that party animal di tutti party animals, reappeared and walked purposefully over to the lovely redhead reclining on the cushions. He lay down with his chin across the instep of her Mary Jane pump, and fell asleep.

I took that as my cue to finally bid adieu.

Interested in finding out more about Chemistry events? Visit http://chemistry-nyc.com.